by Tait Foster
I have always strived to be unbiased. I have my own opinions, as does everyone else, but I have always tried to understand all sides of an argument before reaching my own conclusions. As such the use of personal attacks in debate has always struck me as counter-intuitive, making any kind of balanced discourse impossible. This would seem obvious as a discussion about even the most heated issues can maintain its intellectual stability due to the fact that you’re arguing about certain points and stances rather than irrelevant and distracting assaults. The difference between, ‘I disagree with your take on Israel because of points, A, B, and C’ versus, ‘If you believe that you’re a fascist’ is fairly clear. With that being said I will delve into the realm of total hypocrisy and say something I think everyone can agree on. Henry Kissinger sounds like Satan.
This is not to say that, ‘Henry Kissinger is Satan’ or that ‘Henry Kissinger is a messenger for Satan’ or finally that ‘Henry Kissinger is related to Satan.’ No. What I am merely stating is that the Kissinger that exists purely in the audible and oral world sounds like what I, and I assume most of us, imagine Satan to sound like. Satan also known in Hebrew as ‘the accuser’ (הַשָׂטָן), in Arabic as ‘the adversary’ (الشيطان), and in some Christian texts as Lucifer is in essence the premier angel in Heaven and God’s greatest creation. That is until attempting to usurp God’s power and being cast out forced to spend the rest of his/her/its days tempting good people into sinning against God and earning a ticket to Hell (for Christians and Muslims) or just fucking with people, (in the case of Job in the Old Testament since there is no Hell in Judaism).
Now that the history of Satan is fresh in our minds, watch this interview Kissinger gave on Charlie Rose in 2007. Tell me if I’m crazy but does that not sound like the night manager of the 24-hour motel we call Hell, or the voice you hear laughing in your ear when you take a drunken tumble down the stairs? Sure the Barry White/Rick Ross bass that he’s working with is certainly intimidating. And the gravely voice that sounds like someone who’s replaced Listerine with conflict diamonds isn’t what you want to hear singing you to sleep. And the German accent has never really had a great track record for comfort. But all three?! It’s the perfect storm of pseudo-evil sounding voices. This is what Big Brother would sound like when he’s pissed.
I’m not trying to make a comment about Kissinger as a public servant, historian, or even just a person. I’ve read more than I care to admit about those topics ranging from his historical neutrality, his status as a possible war criminal, and so on. What I will say on that topic is that I wonder if he sounded like the special guest in this video, maybe he wouldn’t have such a bad reputation.
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