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3/31/2010

A Completely Cool, Multi-Purpose Movie!


True Stories opens with the words, “A film about a bunch of people in Virgil, Texas.” This is the closest thing to an explanation that the movie supplies. It is part musical, part slide show, part parody, part homage, part self-parody, part commentary, and music video. Sometimes the songs naturally spring up, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes characters acknowledge the camera, sometimes they don’t. It does not make a whole lot of sense, but sense has never been a priority of the Talking Heads.

The film tours the small town of Virgil, Texas as it adjusts to the new housing sprawl brought by the micro-chip producing Vericorp. There is nothing not ‘80s about it. Our guide on this tour is the bolo tie-wearing and Talking Heads front man, David Byrne. Byrne has little to no impact on the plot, rather he introduces us to the town’s people and goes off on philosophical rants that intentionally lead nowhere. Occasionally, he drops comments like, “things that never had names before are now easily described,” only to steal any possible meaning that the audience might gain by following with, “it makes conversation easy.”

What plot there is revolves around Louis Fyne, played by John Goodman before Roseanne ruined him. Louis is a good-natured technician, and self-proclaimed “dancing fool,” looking for a woman to love and marry. We follow Louis on several dates, watch his dating commercial, and see him perform “People Like Us” in the penultimate scene.

Only three songs, “Wild Life,” “Love For Sale,” and “City of Dreams,” are performed by the Talking Heads. A preacher, a FOUR H club, a conjuto, a fashion show announcer, and other citizens of Virgil sing the rest of the True Stories soundtrack. I have been listening to the album version of these songs for years before I saw the movie. It is easy to stay loyal to those songs I loved in high school, because the movie versions take on a life of their own. Pop Staples singing “Papa Legba” during a voodoo ceremony is obviously very different from Byrne singing it as I ride in my mom’s Camry. With windows down, I used to mumble along to the song, but Staple’s nonchalant voice, robes, and talismans give meaning to the gibberish lyrics.

Like Byrne’s presence, the songs pop–up with no regard to the plot and the lyrics don’t bother to push the story along. Rather than being an annoyance, this is the joy of the movie. You never know when someone is going to start singing and you never know when Byrne is going to go off on a theoretical tangent only to admit that he has forgotten what he was talking about. The movie can certainly be watched straight through, and there are plenty of youtube clips, but I often stream True Stories on Netflix, and let it play, as if it were an album, while I clean or make food. I hum to the music, wash a cereal crusted bowl and giggle when John Goodman remarks on his own “consistent panda shape.” Perhaps True Stories is structured, not by plot, but by charm.




3/30/2010

Untitled


when i see the word
iPad
i feel embarrassed
like folding my dadʼs underwear for the first time


3/29/2010

Embodiment; or Three Forms




2010
oil on paper
8" x 8"



3/26/2010

Thanks America!


Where am I?
Everybody is so nice
And mindless and fat
And dead.
Oh, that's right! I'm in
America.
I almost forgot. It's hard
To keep track when
You live out of your
Suitcase.
Well, Here I am.
God Bless America!
If it weren't for all these
Nice, mindless, fat, dead people
I'd be so confused.


3/25/2010

Fmovie







3/23/2010

Boris Diaw and the Infinite Sadness: Part 2


View: Part 1

Rob let himself in through the basement door on the side of the house. Elliot was wearing a red Joel Pryzbilla jersey that went to his knees.

“Hey, where’s the beer?” Elliot asked.
"I forgot. I can go back out…”
“No, no, no…I have some whiskey. How does that do you?” Elliot asked.
“What kind?”
“Snob. It’s Irish.”

Elliot motioned for Rob to follow him up the stairs. Elliot found his roommates through an ad in the Mercury. They were a couple who had married the summer before and bought a big old house that they struggled to pay the mortgage on month after month. The guy, Cecil, was a nurse practitioner, and the wife, Sequoia, had a masters in graphic design. Cecil made good money but wanted to pay off his student loans, and Sequoia worked freelance and had hefty student loans of her own. They fought frequently.

Elliot brought down two glasses and filled them with ice cubes. He handed one to Rob and then they walked back downstairs. The basement was mostly finished, with Elliot’s small bedroom and half bath, an area with dark green shag carpet, a couch with a little mold, and a washer and drier. Elliot put up a dart board. Rob sat on the couch while Elliot fetched the whiskey from his room. He handed it to Rob.

“Dublin’s Derby Blended Whiskey. The bottle is plastic.” Rob said.
“The Wall Street Journal recommended it.” Elliot said.
“Bullshit.”
“Ok, it was on sale, but it originally cost 12 dollars.”

Rob shook his head and extended his glass. Elliot poured until he filled the glass and then did the same with his own.

“To finding your love.” They banged glasses and sipped. Rob winced and coughed. Elliot laughed.
“Darts?” He asked Rob.

They played a round of Cricket with Rob winning by eighty points, both refreshing their drinks twice. They played another game and replenished their drinks three more times. The second game was closer. Elliot won by ten.

“One more?” Elliot asked.
“What time is it?”
Elliot checked his watch “7:15.”
“What time do we need to catch the bus?”
“7:53, and the stop is just around the corner.”
“Oh. Yeah. One more game. I am going to go get more ice. You?”
“Yeah.” Elliot handed Rob his glass. “Gonna piss.”
Rob returned with fresh ice and Elliot topped of both glasses. “Me first?” He asked Rob.
“Yup."

Elliot threw and hit a double 20, a triple 20, and an 18. “Lick my nuts,” Elliot said. “Hey, did I tell you about the screen play I started writing today?”
“Does it have midgets?” Rob had heard countless novel, screenplay, short film, and TV pilot ideas from Elliot. Most of them involved midgets.
The Hills Have Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain. It’s a Willie Nelson themed horror movie. It’s set in a small West Texan town. A rash of murders - teenage girls, old ladies, a hotel desk clerk - happen whenever the DJ of the town’s only radio station plays a Willie Nelson song. It’s then up to the DJ to team up with the feisty new red-headed lady sheriff to find out who is committing these dastardly deeds. But then, when the DJ shuts down the station, someone keeps playing Willie Nelson songs. Turns out to be the deputy, who once had an affair with one of Willie’s wives - the one who played in his band. The movie ends with the deputy in a little plane looking at a full moon out the window, about to decent in Burlington, Vermont, with the music from "Moonlight in Vermont" off of Stardust. What do you think? I was thinking Bobcat Goldwaith as the DJ and Julia Roberts as the sheriff. Or Jody foster with a dye job. Or maybe Vivica Fox with red extensions for some racial tension. Anyway, what do you think?”
“Sounds commercially viable. How far along are you?”
“I downloaded Final Cut Pro and made a plot flow chart and did some character development lists, like what is the DJ’s favorite kind of sandwich (egg salad on pumpernickel) and what is the red headed sheriff’s favorite movie (Y Tu Mama Tambien if white, Rear Window if black). You know, the important stuff.”
“What about Space Jam for the killer?”
“Racist.” Elliot said and threw his darts.

They played and both struggled to close out 15 and 16. Only a few fingers of whiskey remained in the bottle when Elliot checked his watch. “Its 8:32.”
“I’ll drive.” Rob said.
“I was hoping you would say that. I know a secret parking place near the Garden.” They went out into the cool night without coats and climbed into Ellen’s green Isuzu Rodeo singing “Don’t Fence Me In.”

* * *


Ellen arrived at the police station in a cab at 6:30 in the morning. She saw Rob and Elliot sitting on a bench out front. They rose and walked to the cab. Rob had two black eyes and dried vomit on the front of his sweater. Elliot had a large band aid on his chin and dried blood on his neckline. One of the arm holes of his jersey was ripped and so he appeared to be wearing a long red toga.

Rob hugged her and said sorry. Elliot stood behind them and said thank you to Ellen. The three walked out and got into the waiting cab.

Elliot sat in the front seat. The cab driver, a skinny guy about their age with dyed long black hair, black t-shirt, black jeans, and black fingerless gloves said: “So what kind of fun did you two gentleman get into last night?”
“Blazer game,” Elliot said. “They threw us out for being too handsome and too loyal and too proud of our adopted city.”
Rob turned to Ellen “So the two guys next to us were jerks, rooting for the Suns, and we, very drunk, well…”
“One of them was the Asian guy from Smashing Pumpkins,” Elliot said.
“James Iha?” the driver asked.
“That’s his name. James Iha! Thank you, sir. Well, James Iha was screaming about the refs and talking trash, and his buddy was a big fella, perhaps a lumberjack or Arena League football player, and he was also screaming at our guys, calling Brandon Roy a bitch, and Greg Oden a big bitch, and Joel Pryzbilla a white bitch, and Batoom a French bitch, and well I would say we asked them civilly to stop.”
Rob interrupted, “We were pretty drunk. I told the big one to the shut the fuck up before I ripped out his eye ball for Rip City.”
“Awesome,” said the cab driver.
“James Iha told Rob to shut the fuck up, and I said ‘Look here Siamese Dream, you and your ogre should go back to 1979. Tonight, Tonight.’ I was really proud of myself for coming up with so many Smashing Pumpkins references in such short order, though I had been thinking of them from them moment we sat next to the guy. Anyway, he was about to slap me, or it looked like that when I spit in eye.” Elliot turned to Rob.
“The big guy then pushed Elliot and he toppled over three rows of people, smashing his chin on a hand railing. I punched the big guy in the back of the head, then James Iha threw a hard elbow in my face. Elliot tried to climb back over the three rows of people he had already fallen over, gushing blood from his face all over them.”
“Jesus,” Ellen said.
Rob continued “Yeah, that’s when security carried all four us out. When we were outside the Garden, Elliot tried to hit James Iha, and I started kicking at the big guy. And then out of nowhere some cops came and dragged us off and let those fuckers go on their merry way.”
“I tried to reason with the cops, saying they were Suns fans, but the cops weren’t interested. I sobered up in cuffs.” Elliot said.
“Rob kept falling asleep.”
“Since the other two guys got let off, no one pressed charges, and we were told to sleep it off.”
“And I did,” Rob chimed in.

They arrived at Rob and Ellen’s apartment, and Elliot paid the cab driver and gave him a 10 dollar tip for being such a good audience.

“So where is my car?”
“It’s at the Burger King near the Rose Garden. Unless it was towed,” Elliot said bashfully.
“Fuck.” Ellen said and raised her arms in exasperation.” And you lost my keys?”
“Yeah, well, I think they fell out of my pocket in the scuffle. They could be at the lost and found at the Rose Garden. If not, I’m sure AAA can do something.”
Ellen shook her head and then looked at her phone. “Fuck. I am going to be late for work. I am going to have to catch a bus. Fuck.” She started walking towards the bus stop near their apartment. She turned and said, “Rob, you are going to take care of this today, right? Right? I need my car.”
“Yeah, yeah, I will. I’m sorry,” he said.
“Me too. Thanks for getting us Ellen.” Elliot said.
“Are you going to be drunk assholes forever?” She marched down the street.
Rob and Elliot stood still and silent for a few moments.
“I am probably going to be a drunk asshole forever. I’ve always imagined myself as the drunken dad. Not abusive, but at times embarrassing. So, breakfast?”
“IHOP?” Rob said.
“Brilliant,” answered Elliot and they walked back to Elliot’s Honda and drove to the IHOP out by the airport.
They sat. “So do you think she will find out?” Rob asked.
“Only if you tell her. Or we get arrested for real.” Elliot said without looking up from his menu. What they had told Ellen and the cab driver had been true, up to a point. After they were hustled out of the stadium there were no cops. The two stumbled back to Ellen’s Rodeo, and Elliot convinced Rob to drive to the Dancing Bear, his favorite and perhaps the city’s saddest strip club. Elliot and Rob then dramatically reenacted their fight with the James Iha and the large guy, during which Rob drove off into a telephone pole. They were unharmed but the car was totaled. Elliot called an ask-no-questions towing company, the name and number of which he had gotten from his older brother, a successful lawyer and alcoholic. For a flat fee of a thousand dollars the tow truck took the car to a lot and then disabled it and sold it off for parts. Rob argued with Elliot that the car wasn’t worth a thousand dollars. Elliot explained the thousand dollars was to keep your record clean and to make sure that when you reported the car stolen to the insurance company it didn’t show up anywhere. After that matter was settled, it was Rob’s idea to have Ellen pick them up from the police station.

Rob pulled the keys to the car from his pocket. “Ok, so I tell her I got the keys from the Rose Garden, went to the Burger King, and the car was gone. Called the impound lot listed in the Burger King parking lot, and the car wasn’t there. Then I tell her to report the car as stolen to her insurance company, she gets the money and buys a newer car, and we all live happily ever after.”

Elliot nodded.

“How did your brother know about that?” Rob asked.
“He once represented a cop in a divorce. Jeff asked him what happens when cops get DUIs, and the cop handed him the tow company’s card.”

Elliot had the banana nut waffles and Rob ate a western omelet. Rob thought about telling Ellen the truth and how she would react while Elliot described a rash he had that was shaped like a dolphin. The waitress came to the table and asked if they needed anything and Elliot said, “Just the check.”



3/22/2010

Boris Diaw and the Infinite Sadness: Part 1


"Boris Diaw" will appear in 2 parts. The second half will be on LL tomorrow, Tuesday, March 23rd.

Ellen unlocked the car and Elliot grabbed the passenger side door handle. Rob pushed him and said “Nope,” and got in the front seat of the green 1994 Isuzu Rodeo while Elliot walked around to sit behind the driver.

“It’s ok, I prefer to be chauffeured,” he said, and then gave two dainty claps.

Ellen drove him three blocks to the yellow house where he had a basement room. Elliot thanked Ellen, said he would give them a call, and then waved as he entered through the side door.

“You complain to me about Elliot all the time, and then when we are all together, you encourage him like that. His idea about pulling down puzzle master Will Shortz’s pants and filming it for Youtube was awful, and you kept laughing and egging him on” Rob said.

Ellen had one hand on the wheel on one her belly. “I do complain about Elliot, but I like him. He is funny and smart and I have known him as long as I have known you. What I complain about is his drinking, and the terrible things he does. Last night I watched him pee in a Suburban’s gas tank. He saw me see him, and then slurred something about political integrity and the Kyoto Protocols. He then tried to drive home and it was only when I pulled out my phone and said I was going call the police to report him as a DUI that he gave me his keys. This was after he vomited on that girl. That’s another thing…”

Rob interrupted “Ok, I admit, and I think he would to, that he has some issues with women.”
“What about the girl whose cat he drove to an animal shelter in Olympia.”
Rob shook his head. “You always bring that up. It was two years ago. He’s gotten a lot better about that sort of thing.”
Ellen huffed and sighed. “He is sleeping with two girls he works with, one of whom is only eighteen, and…”
“She’s 19, almost 20.” Rob said.

Ellen shook her head. “That is not really the point. I would never let any girl I know near Elliot, but I have felt that way for years. Nothing new. What I really hate though is that he is such a bad influence on you. I drink, you drink, we both occasionally get drunk. I am not trying to be hypocritical, but when you drink with Elliot you turn into his minion. He says “Jump” and you say “from what bridge?” You can be as cruel as he is, and you make a terrible mess. When you've been out drinking with him and come home the sink smells of urine and half the contents of the fridge are in the bathtub.”

Ellen parked and Rob got out of the car. “It is not as bad as it used to be,” he said.

“That’s because I said I wouldn’t live with you if you let him come over and drink at our place.” He and Ellen walked up the stairs.

They entered the apartment they had moved into three weeks prior. Rob pulled Ellen to the couch and began an act of conciliatory cuddle. Ellen reciprocated and they cooed and moaned and kissed and then Rob attempted to perform cunnilingus on his girlfriend of fifteen months. She passively discouraged and then passively encouraged the act. This lasted for four minuets before Ellen pushed Rob away and ran to the bathroom and had loud diarrhea with the door open.

Rob called out, “I am going to go out for a run.”
Ellen responded, “I am going to stay close to the toilet. Can you return those DVDs to the library?”
“Sure, do you need me to pick anything up?” Rob asked.
“Um, no, maybe, I don’t know, ginger ale maybe, saltines.”
“Ok,” he said as he changed into his short running shorts and running sneakers and then left the apartment, DVDs under his arm.

Rob slipped the DVDs through the return slot at the Albina branch of the library then crossed the street. Rob ran on the outer loop of the park lined with wood chips, around the two baseball fields, four basketball courts, the big and the little play grounds the soccer field. Twice around was almost a mile, and Rob ran seven times around in one direction, and seven times around in the other. There were guys at the basketball court shooting, waiting for more to show up to run three on three. Eight or nine dogs with an even mix of couples and singles handling them strolled around the wood chipped loop. Rob finished and stretched by the backstop. A man with a gray pony tail tried to fly a kite on the soccer field and an unattended boy of six or seven urinated on one of the goals.

Rob did fifty push ups on the wet grass, wiped his dirty palms on his shorts, and walked to the natural food store. He took a green basket and walked the aisles looking for samples. He had a little square of free trade dark chocolate, a little spoonful of Greek style honey flavored yogurt and a little shot glass sized paper cup of persimmon flavored dandy-lion tea. He placed a six pack of the organic ginger ale in his basket and then went looking for the saltines. He found them, the package adorned with Paul Newman’s face, in the aisle with bulk nuts. He filled a plastic bag with what he thought was about half a pound of cashews and then sauntered to the register. A white guy about his age with blond dread locks and a light beard greeted him and asked how he was doing. Rob and this guy had the same 44 second conversation at least once every three days. Rob said he was doing well, and the dreadlocked guy said he was too, and then Rob swiped his card and then the dreadlock guy asked if Rob wanted the receipt, and Rob declined and took his paper sack of ginger ale, saltines, and nuts out of the store.

The door to their third floor apartment, D7, was unlocked. He came in, took the nuts, crackers, and ginger ale and placed them on the small table in the kitchen. He went to the bathroom and had a long pee with door closed. His urine was reddish orange. He shook his head, washed his hands, washed his face, drank a large glass of water, then took a hot shower during which he again peed reddish orange.

He got out, drank another glass of water, brushed his teeth, and then applied deodorant to his under arms and medicated body powder to his genitals and inner thighs. He went into the bedroom where he and Ellen each had desks and rolling chairs and their own closets and chests of drawers. He put on clean boxer shorts and the jeans he had worn to brunch. He then flexed his pectoral muscles and bulled his neck in the mirror before putting on a new white v-neck t shirt. He walked into the bedroom where he and Ellen slept. They had painted the walls a pale green two weeks before. Ellen’s laptop rested on their queen sized bed that remained frameless. Ellen said she didn’t want anything until they could afford a nice bed. Rob picked up her computer. It was warm. He entered password: bugsythebunnyRIP and saw that Ellen had been on a website devoted to life-sized butter sculptures of famous people: Oprah, Jesus, Drew Carey. He put her laptop down. On her night stand were her phone and keys.

He walked through the living room to the kitchen and didn’t see Ellen. He called out her name. He walked into each bed room, the bath room, went through the living room back to the kitchen, and then repeated that circle two more times. Rob shrugged, took a seat on the couch and read the arts section from last week’s Sunday paper. Maybe Ellen went out to get a fresh paper he thought, and then became lost in a long article about an off-Broadway play with a paraplegic Australian Muslim imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay for 3 years who finds Christ through the kindness of a sympathetic Southern soldier. Rob finished the article and then walked around the apartment again, stopping in every room looking for Ellen. He checked the bathroom three times. He walked out to the hall, and then down the stairway, calling her name. He returned to apartment, checked every room again, and then looked out the windows for her. The ones in the bed rooms faced the street where her car was parked. The windows in the kitchen faced a nicer apartment building. In the alley between there was nothing but dumpsters. Rob picked up Ellen’s phone and there were six missed calls: two from her mother and two from each of her sisters. The last out-going call she made was to Elliot that morning inviting him to brunch.

Rob went to the room with the mirror and said out loud, “Don’t worry. Don’t worry. Don’t panic. It's ok.” He then took off his t-shirt and flexed his pectoral muscles five times, put his shirt back on, and then checked every room for Ellen.

He felt his phone buzz. It was Elliot. He picked up.

“Dude, Cecil’s mom just dropped by looking for Cecil and Sequoia, who are out at some new-age retreat near Hood River for the weekend, and offered me some Blazer tickets. They are playing the Suns. Good seats too. You in?”
“Uh, well, Ellen is sorta,” Rob stopped and closed his eyes to find the right word.
“Dude, only got two tickets. You will have to leave her be for a couple of hours. Can you handle it? She can watch the game on the TV down at the Triple Nickel and maybe see you and me so she knows you’re safe.”
“Uh, Elliot, Ellen’s not here. She was sick, and then I went out for a run, and now she is gone. Its been like 3 hours since I saw her.”
“Hmm,” Elliot said, “Call her.”
“She left her phone here,” Rob responded.
“Weird.”
“Yeah. Weird. Am I being paranoid?”
“No, no, I mean, yeah, probably. She is probably fine. Maybe one of her girlfriends came and picked her up or something and she forgot her phone. Or ran out to do laundry or something.”
“The Laundry room!” Rob hung up and ran down the four flights of stairs to the basement. In a windowless white room with five big white washers and five big white dryers lay Ellen slumped on the folding table. Rob shook her. She woke up, startled. Her face was red and blotchy and her breath had a stench of expired dairy with a metallic tinge. “Hey.” Rob said.
“Hey” Ellen said groggily. Rob hugged her, and she hugged him back and said “I shit the bed.”
“Oh.” Rob said and hugged her tighter. “I didn’t know where you were.”
“Oh.” Ellen said, “I hope you didn’t worry.”
“I did a little.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Why don’t you go up and get in bed and I will take care of this. I’ll put on the other sheets and you can lie down. I got ginger ale and saltines.”
“Ok.” Ellen said. “Comforter is in the dryer. It probably needs another go round in the machine. The sheets should be done. And my clothes are in there too. I’m really sorry.”
“No, no, no” Rob said gently. They walked up the stairs together. Rob put on the extra set of sheets, pale blue flannel ones Ellen’s sister Gwen had given them as a house warming present. Ellen climbed into the bed and Rob brought her a plate of crackers arranged in a fanned circle and a tall glass of ginger ale with ice. She thanked him, and asked if he could go pick out a few DVDs from the shelf.
Goonies?” he asked.
Goonies is in the right ball park. Goonies, Back to the Future, and surprise me.”

Rob liked Ellen’s DVD collection. He had 25 or so DVDs, mostly from the bargain bin at the chain video store, the 2 for $10 kind, where the price accurately reflected the films’ quality.

Rob picked out Volunteers, one of his movies. He brought the three to Ellen in bed. “Is this the one where Tom Hanks is in the Peace Corps in Thailand in a tuxedo, and that his wife is also in?”
“And John Candy.” Rob owned four movies with John Candy.
“Perfect.” Ellen said.
“I am going to go and deal with the laundry. Feel free to start the movie, I’ll be back up in a few.”
“Ok. Thank you.” Rob kissed her on the forehead and didn’t cringe when he smelled her breath.

Rob moved the sheets and Ellen’s underwear and jeans and shirt to a dryer. He took out her bra, unsure as to if it could be machine dried, and then set the comforter to another dry cycle. He carried the bra back up to the apartment and hung it on shower door as he had seen Ellen do with such sundries.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out. Elliot. Rob answered.

“So should I call the morgue?”
“Dude.” Rob said.
“Sorry. You find her?”
“Yeah. She was asleep in the laundry room.”
“So I was right. Another life saved by the towering genius of Elliot Green. Chalk it up.”
“I don’t see how you saved her life.”
“I didn’t. I saved yours. You were all frantic - you could have had a heart attack, or driven distractedly and ran into a telephone pole, or hung yourself.” Elliot said. “Anyway, I got Blazer tickets. It’s the Suns. Should be a great game. Amare is back. Nash vs. Roy. The seven-seconds-or-less offense against Rip City’s occasionally smothering defense. Come on.”
“Uh, Ellen is pretty sick. I should probably stay here.”
“Come on. She fell asleep in the laundry room. Come on. She needs sleep. Not you fetching this and that and then trying to feel her up. Come on.”
“Let me go check on her. I’ll call you back, but you know,” and Rob hung up.

Ellen was asleep and Tom Hanks was still at Yale. Rob sat on the bed next to her. Ellen snored. He closed her laptop and moved it to her night table. He took the plate of pale crumbs and the glass of watery soda and put them in the sink.
He called Elliot back. “When is tip off?”

“8:30.”
“Ok, I have to finish a load in the dryer and then I will come and pick you up at around 8:15.”
“Lets have a few drinks first. I love eight dollar beers as much as the next guy, but I love them even more after I am a little hammered. Why don’t you come over here, bring some nice beer, we'll get a little drunk, then go to the game and stay buzzed without going broke.”
“Ok. I’ll be there soon.” Rob said and hung up the phone.

He wrote a note on post-it that said, “Went to the Blazer game with El (free tickets), hope you are feeling better. If you need anything call. Love, R.” He stuck it to the fridge. He then went into bed room and took Ellen’s keys from her night stand. He patted her head and she snored. He walked out of the apartment, locked the door and drove to Elliot’s.

View: Part 2



3/19/2010

The Painter!



2009
pencil on paper
30 x 22 inches



3/17/2010

To Roswell


I drove across the country with a stuffed rabbit
riding shotgun. I lifted his ear at the red
lights, whispered I’ll pull you

from a hat; death is like a magic trick

and then the word trick came to sound
like my car door unlocking itself.

Since I left, I’ve learned to decipher the logic
of a haystack, learned to slip off my promises
like a saddle. The world is a giant

scar. It goes where I go. I don’t know
how to drive. But I go.
I’m not in love, I’m in a boat.


3/16/2010

Two Jesuses


A few weeks ago, my little nephew started signing "Jesus" on all his emails to me. Throwing it in there at the end where his name used to be. The rest of his messages were his usual kid stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just the normal 9th grader steam he liked to funnel my way every couple of days. Steven I'm so pissed. Listen to this shit. Cindy sold the Suburu because she heard from Ms. Randall that I got kicked out of bio again. Randall’s got it out for me bad since who knows when. If she were a cannibal I’d get eaten first I swear. Hammerstein the bio teacher got all heated when me and Cross were rolling paper towels all down the halls instead of ripping apart frogs. Sent us downstairs to the tombs and as soon as I saw Randall’s scrunched up raisin face I knew I wouldn’t escape without a call to Cindy. Shit timing too since mom just found all these empty bottles in my closet. Remember that Absolut you got me for the 4th of July? She found it. Nothing left of course but I was saving the bottle to make into something but now I can’t but that shit doesn’t even matter since she sold my car. Said it was too old anyway and that I could practice on the Taco. The truck’s way more fun to drive of course but it’s bullshit cuz we both know damn well who’ll get first dibs on going places once I get my license in five months. Your mean ass sister. Say something to her Steven? I swear I can’t talk to that lady anymore. Jesus.

The first few times I hardly even noticed. I just assumed it was some weird ADD mistake. Something he typed unconsciously because half his attention was on a glittery cross from a pop up ad. It kept showing up though. “Jesus,” always tagged on at the end of his notes, just sitting there like it belonged. Four-wheelers are all yours this weekend Steven. I don’t even care if take your boring new girlfriend instead of me because I’m skipping town. Crossing the border. Nothing between me and Montreal but the middle finger I’m gonna give to the passport inspector when he laughs at my dumb picture. I don’t even have time to write this because they’re loading up the buses right now. Have fun with Charlene Moleface or whatever her name is while I’m soaking in some sweet Canadian sunshine on the student council’s dime. Au revoir, motherfucker. Jesus.

I mentioned it to him a couple times but he never gave any explanation. Hey Bobby, I wrote. What’s the deal with this “Jesus” trip you’re on? I know it’s hard to believe the first time a 10th grader lets you up her shirt, but last time I checked that doesn’t count as a miracle. If you’re looking for god you should meet my new blender. Milkshakes like you wouldn’t believe. Bring your mom over here on Sunday - just make sure you’re not driving. I just put in a new fence and I’ll be damned if your delusional ass swerves into it again because you think a chipmunk can’t take care of himself. See you soon, kiddo. Steven.

He never answered my question. Kept writing me, kept the “Jesus” signoff, kept ignoring my demand for him to shed a little light on what kind of televangelist late night t.v. bullshit was getting to his soft head. So finally I called up Cindy, my sister.

“Hey Cindy,” I said, “Was there a sale on holy water at Costco?”
“Steven? What are you talking about? Last time I went to Costco was when you dragged me there for that phony sushi knife demonstration that ended up being a white guy in a kimono standing behind a George Forman. You know I get my Pepsi at BJ’s.”
“Your kid is on some biblical tip. My inbox keeps filling up with love letters from the son of god.”
“Huh? From who?”
“Jesus.”
“You’re kidding me. How did he get your email address?”
“Cindy, wha-“
“Goddamn. I can’t stop Bobby from writing you or from doing whatever the hell he does on that net, and as long as you’re not giving him ideas about how to sneak into The Wrap or whatever nasty new strip joint they put in since those Christians arson-ed the shit outta the old place, your little man-to-nephew correspondence is fine with me. But if he’s gonna start giving your address out to whoever strolls by – I don’t even know what to do about that. Goddamn net rascals. Love letters you said? From Jesus? What the hell’s he doing loving you? Have you even met that punk before?”
“Holy shit, Cindy, lay of the crack. I’m talking about Bobby, your nut job of a kid, putting ‘Jesus’ at the bottom of all his emails, and you’re off ranting like the dead prophet is a kid who just moved to the neighborhood.”
“He did, Steven! A whole family of creeps moved in right down the street. The kind of people who all it takes is one glance and you can just see the meth lab they’ve got in their basement. One look at her face – at Jesus’s mother, I don’t even know that woman’s name – one look and I’m picturing test tubes and Sudafed and bathtubs full of glowing liquid. She’s kinda cross-eyed, maybe that’s it. And their kid, Jesus – who the hell names their kid that? Drug addicts, that’s who – he’s been living here two weeks and he’s already lounging around my living room like it’s a goddamn tackle shop. He’s got something Bobby wants, I just know it. He’ll come through here and Bobby’ll feed him Pringles like we’re living in the chip factory. Kids keep cleaning out my cupboards. And I’m too scared to kick ‘em out cause who knows what kind of shit they’d get into at Jesus’s place. Probably trip and fall into a meth vat and come home looking like he’s aged sixty years with three teeth and nothing but a few gray hairs on his head. Little Bobby wouldn’t even see it coming.”
“Well this is a goddamn relief,” I said. “I thought I was gonna have to sit that kid down and talk him out of joining some psycho cult. Nikes, Koolaid, I was picturing all that shit. Now that it turns out he just has some little boy crush on the new kid, I can rest easy. You two coming over here on Sunday? I tivo-ed Alien.”
“Ah, fuck. Yeah I think we can make it. Was supposed to cover brunch for Jenny but I’ll get out of it. This week’s been too long to spend my day off serving waffles. He’s using that kid’s name now? Really? This is a goddamn travesty, Steven. Bobby was our grandfather’s name. And I don’t care what a drunk he was – he was a noble drunk. He could be six bourbons deep and still tell a joke that didn’t just crack you up, but also had some twisted wisdom thrown in that made you shiver a little bit. Like he was tickling you with one hand and scratching his nails down a chalkboard with the other. You remember that shit. You loved him just like I did. And now Bobby thinks nothing of giving that up? To play like he’s some kid he just met? Throwing it all away for Jesus? That’s fucked up, Steven. I don’t know about you, but that feels pretty fucked up to me.”


3/15/2010

Untitled






2010
oil on canvas
42 x 48 inches


3/12/2010

Big Like a Fish


Big
So big that you can't close me
You can't lift me, roll me, push me, or drag me
Big like nothing
Big like a fish
Bigger than Julian Schnabel's Palazzo Chupi


3/10/2010

Emovie








3/08/2010

Alex Bleeker Interview: Part 6


This interview with Alex Bleeker (of the Ridgewood, New Jersey bands Real Estate and Alex Bleeker and the Freaks) took place on January 13, 2010. It will appear in six parts.

View: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5


In which Alex discusses the dynamics of the band members and the different projects they are involved in.
LL: The other thing I was curious about is how – I mean, you’re involved in a lot of different projects right now and it seems like you and the group of people that you work with are doing something unique, in that you’re sort of trading off front man responsibilities and you all take turns writing songs. I know you all back up Julian when he plays sometimes, and you have your own album, and Real Estate. What is it about your friendship dynamic that allows you to take those different roles so fluidly?
AB: I think it’s fluid in one degree, but I also think that it’s not all the same band. So there’s something to be said for that too. We have to allow whole different bands to have their space in order for it to work. I think that’s the balance that we found, but I definitely think there is a little bit of struggle in terms of like, Well, this is when I’m… and this is when you are. And maybe if we were a different kind of band then Real Estate could accommodate all of those things into one.
LL: I mean it’s hard to imagine because you really –
AB: The aesthetics are different.
LL: The aesthetics are different, but also it’s just that responsibility and that attention, being the person in front who wrote the songs. I mean, in a lot of bands that’s where the tensions arise, when one person’s in front and the other people need more of that attention but aren’t getting it.
AB: Totally. I mean, there will be times when I’ll bring a song to Real Estate practice and Martin will be like, This sounds like a Freaks song. And I’ll be like, What does that mean? You know, why can't – And, there’s validity in it. I understand what he’s saying, because that song did become a Freaks song.
LL: Did you write some of the Real Estate songs?
AB: Martin is definitely the chief songwriter. There's a couple of songs on the record that are accredited to Martin as the chief songwriter, and a few of them came out of more like, jams. I think we’re reaching a really good balance now where Martin will - he definitely has good control over the sound that we’ve all agreed is our sound. It’s something that we like. He’ll bring something maybe three quarters of the way finished to practice, or the general structure of a song, and we’ll fill it in. I like the way that that’s been happening. He’ll play something and he’ll be like, find something in the bass. And he’ll just repeat it –
LL: Can you think of a song specifically?
AB: Especially a song that’s nobody’s heard yet, that’s brand new. We’ll probably play it on the tour. We don’t even have a name for it yet. He’d just play the verse over and over again and I’d add something that I find, so we’d each get to contribute creatively. So sometimes it works like that. Sometimes he has a song 100 percent down and it’s great and I’m like, Yeah. Cool. That’s my part. That’s awesome. And then sometimes it will totally evolve. Like, “Suburban Beverage” is just a jam that we were playing together that summer that I was talking about. And then we recorded all of our practices on cassette. And we listened to it, and as loose as the structure is, we gave it a little bit more of a solid structure, and that’s a song that we wrote together because we were just jamming. And I don’t know if you’ve heard the Reality EP? It’s kind of like the companion to the Real Estate record. It just came out Mexican Summer. It’s really short, it’s like six songs, that were sort of demo-y or we couldn’t put on the record for whatever reason. Also just stuff that we were throwing around that we liked. The first song on that is just like, us hanging out in Martin’s apartment and turning the tape machine on and playing, and we were like oh, that sounds good, and we cut an excerpt out of it that we liked, and that’s a song on the record. Sometimes it works like that.
video via pixelhorse
LL: Ok. And the other times are when – you mentioned that one time when you wrote a song and Martin said that it sounded like a Freaks song and then it ended up…
AB: Yeah, I mean, because he has that creative control. He has the power of veto. But we can all bring stuff to the table.
LL: Did the Freaks happen because you wanted more…
AB: I’ve been writing my own songs for a long time. And when I realized that it was possible to put a formal band together and put a record out, that was really exciting. I just wanted an outlet. And I do think it’s true that a lot of the songs on that album wouldn’t fit so well stylistically into a Real Estate set. We used to play “Epilogue” live, as Real Estate, for the first couple shows. And it was great, but we all sort of agreed, This just kind of sticks out. It’s noticeable. So the Freaks just sort of formed out of my desire to have an outlet for all the songs I had been writing.
LL: When did the band come together?
AB: Summer, I guess, was when the name Alex Bleeker and the Freaks existed. And we recorded the album in July. But some of those are old songs, some of them are songs I wrote 10 years ago, and some of them are songs I wrote two days before we made the record. So it’s kind of a mix. Sort of like what I was saying about the Real Estate album. You have your whole life to make your first record, and you have seven months to make your second.
LL: And then with Julian, that’s a whole other aspect.
AB: That’s just an honor. I see Julian as like – I hold him in the highest regard musically, out of all of us. I think we all kind of always have. There’s something otherworldly going on about him and his songwriting. It’s just super beautiful. And since high school I think we’ve sort of looked at him as – at least I have, I’ll speak for myself – he’s always been prolific. He’ll make two or three records a year, as long as I’ve known him. And they just continue to push boundaries or do new things. Often times Julian will get somewhere, and then his influence will trickle down, later. I mean, I definitely noticed a marked influence on Matt – I mean, on Julian from Matt. Which was cool to see it go the other way.
LL: The Ducktails record?
AB: Yeah. Just in terms of the fidelity of Julian’s records and his style, his guitar playing style. I think Matt had some influence on that, which is good, because it hadn’t really happened like that when we were kids.
LL: So you can see it evolving as you get older?
AB: Totally. You know, that’s a role that we fall into so easily because we did that so much in high school - just like, play Julian’s songs. He’s a good delineator. But he’s someone who - it’s not equal parts creative when you play behind him, really, which is great. You’re doing your own little variation and he’s like, play it this way. He’s super specific about his music.
LL: He has a really clear vision of what he’s going for.
AB: Yeah. Totally.
LL: He doesn’t play live that much.
AB: He does but not – well, he doesn’t live here. That’s one thing. He’s in grad school right now in Wisconsin. So he’ll have Brooklyn shows when he’s back for breaks. And that live show, playing songs off his record, that doesn’t happen very often. He had an aversion to playing songs live for a while. He would do these really beautiful improvisational sets and have somebody do a drone or a shruti box, which is a traditional Indian accompaniment instrument. It sounds kind of like a harmonium because it’s one chord. And then he would play clarinet over it. Improvisational, beautiful clarinet. Super new age-y. He did a bunch of that last summer.
LL: Did he release that ever?
AB: He should do a live record. He really should. That’s a good idea. He’s definitely got that element of like – Julian can play clarinet.
LL: Did he have that same guitar teacher?
AB: He did.
LL: Maybe Tony was more pleased with him. He could play clarinet.
AB: I think that Julian was definitely more of a star student that Matt and I were. He practiced more and he had more of the traditional theory ability. But he would be bold. Julian used to be really into Van Halen and so he’d put nine gauge strings on his guitar so he could finger tap and stuff, and Tony was like, pfffft.
LL: I had one more idea about the weather. How does the weather influence what kind music you guys play?
AB: I think it influences it a lot, actually. I’m putting out a new 7” with Group Tightener. And that’s got a wintry cover. And I think it sounds wintry. Because it’s the winter now. It’s cold now, people wear coats. I think so. I think seasons have an affect on everything that I do all time.
LL: And music is another outlet for expressing what’s happening.
AB: I like winter. It’s too long though.

View: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5



3/05/2010

FUCK YOU!



2009
pencil on paper
30 x 22 inches



3/03/2010

3 Tiny Stories


1.
“Is something wrong?”

“Maybe. I’m not sure,” he said. “Does something seem wrong?”

“You didn’t laugh,” she said. “You usually laugh at my hand job jokes.”

2.
I walked through a fume-filed accordion-like tunnel that connected the plane to the terminal, which was empty and half lit. I looked for signs that might point me to ground transportation, not convinced that the sparse number of other passengers knew where they were going. A siren and flashing lights came from a row of slot machines on my left. They were weak, like from a child’s toy police car, but they were the only splotches of life I could recognize.

“Hell yes,” a woman yelled out over the siren and a clang of falling coins. “Fuck you faggot, I’m going to Reno.”

“We’re in Reno,” a man’s voice said. “And for the last time, I’m not gay."

3.
He wanted to go to the Amazon. She, for a reason beyond him, wanted to go to the Arctic Circle. What did she want to go there for? The Amazon was where they should go. Her roots, she said. She wanted to rediscover her roots.




3/02/2010

Alex Bleeker Interview: Part 5


This interview with Alex Bleeker (of the Ridgewood, New Jersey bands Real Estate and Alex Bleeker and the Freaks) took place on January 13, 2010. It will appear in six parts.

View: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6


In which Alex confronts the confusion of having critics who are also friends.
LL: Do you have moments when you have to take a break and step away and say you’re not going to look at music blogs this week?
AB: Yeah, I mean I don’t – I do – I’m not a big blogoshere person. I have an awareness of it. And that’s what’s strange too - these people become your friends. There’s a community composed of not only musicians but press people, or whatever…
LL: I was curious about Chocolate Bobka, specifically. Did you know him before?
AB: No! But we gchat everyday, you know, McGregor and I.
LL: Because he started writing about you guys?
AB: Yeah. He started coming to a lot of shows and we started reading his blog. I think his blog - I’m not really sure, but I think his blog has grown a lot in the past year also.
LL: It’s one I find myself going back to a lot.
AB: Yeah, I mean, as a person writing for a blog, are you inspired by McGregor?
LL: Definitely. And the fact that he ties it together with curating shows too, that he’s involved in that way, is definitely inspiring to me.
AB: Yeah. I mean I think he’s great, and I really respect him as a person and what he does. He’s definitely a huge figure in whatever’s happening in Williamsburg right now, and New York City. But that gets confusing, because what if we put out a record that McGregor hates?
LL: Right. Are you still friends?
AB: Yeah. And isn’t he obligated as a person of the press to be honest about it? But is he obligated as a personal friend to keep giving us positive press? I’m not sure sometimes, what my relationship with him is. I find that we definitely are friends, and I want to consider him my friend, but I think that he recognizes these things too and often has to separate himself, because that is the nature of our relationship.
LL: Because it comes back to - that’s how it started.
AB: Yeah. As a critic. It’s weird. Because we were just at a bar the other night and I was like, I like that we’ve become friends. And I know that that is true because I consider him a friend of mine, we have a good relationship, a friendship, but I could tell that he was hesitant to confirm it. He kind of looked at me and was like, yeah. Because that’s the nature of it. For both of us. And that sucks.
LL: I’m wondering if that’s still possible. Can you be friends and also have someone –
AB: I mean, we are friends.
LL: Right, I know. I guess it’s just – there has to be a lot of trust involved. Even among your band members, or the different projects that you work with, it’s still such a delicate thing. Looking at it like, Alright. We’ve known each other for so long. Obviously we’re really close friends with really strong ties, but even with those people I’m sure it’s tricky to be able to have a conflict about your views.
AB: Totally. I mean, I think it’s safe within our community. People are gonna be honest with each other and it’s nice, but then I definitely have – it took Julian a long time to come around to my record because he was self-conscious about his playing on it. He was sort of critical of it when I played it for him, and that really hurt my feelings in this way, but I appreciated his honesty.
LL: When you played the Freaks record?
AB: The Freaks record. After I finished mixing it. I mean obviously I shared it because he played on it, but –
LL: He was being sort of hard on himself?
AB: I think that’s what it became sort of about. Because his playing is featured really prominently in a way that he doesn’t normally play, you know, that sort of raw shredding.
LL: “The Shredder.”
AB: Yeah. And he later wrote me an email about it, and was like, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about the way I reacted to the record this summer, I think I was self-conscious about my playing. But, definitely, it can be intense if you bring something to the table and people aren’t immediately complimentary. But it’s also – I wouldn’t trade that immediate community that we have to share our music with each other.
LL: Yeah. How did you react to that?
AB: It made me upset! I wanted him to like it, but I also knew that I really liked the record and I didn’t want to change it. So I just stayed strong.
LL: You felt good about it.
AB: Definitely. And then I sent it to Ari from Underwater Peoples and he was really excited about it and said that he wanted to put it out. Outside reactions were strong, so I just trusted them. Yeah, when it’s something about friendship – you can be friends with someone when they don’t like your album – and definitely, Julian’s someone that I really, really respect.

View: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6


3/01/2010

GOBBL'd Up







2010
Paper Collage
18 x 10 inches